I used to have a bed that creaked. Not just creaked, but squeeked, squarked, banged and appeared to contain an in-built thunder machine (ok, I made that last bit up, but you get the picture). Combine that bed with a very enthusiastic lover, a number of vibrators and other assorted sex toys and a penchant for doing the deed while listening to ‘love song dedications’ and you got yourself a pretty noisy shag pad.
Normally, this would be fine. I’m all for it, actually. Only one thing…. I live in an apartment block.
Now, I didn’t think this was a problem until one night a couple of years back when I bumped into my neighbour that lives in the unit below while out on the town, and one drink turned into about 117. After sufficient social lubrication, my neighbour, instead of simply introducing me as “my neighbour” to his mates as they came and joined the group, put a new and interesting follow up “this is the one I told you about… you know, with the buzzzzzz“
I was horrified
Not only did this person know all about what ought to have been my own private experiences, he shared his version of events with the entire local footy team! And as the truth serum kept flowing, so too did my neighbours loose tounge. It transpired, so he told me (as well as everyone else present) that during my particularly ‘saucy’ bouts of love making, he and his flatemate would “make popcorn, lie down in the bedroom under yours and listen“
So in response to my new found information, and in attempt to keep my private time, well, private, these days I make sure I have the music really loud and the fans on full ball to drown out the sound of any such activity.
I just wish my upstairs neighbour would learn the same tricks. After an apparent couple of years of celibacy the single bloke upstairs (estimated to be about 75) has found himself a brand new lady friend and she is a real screamer. Maybe its about time I took him for a drink (or 117)….
Have you ever had any experiences with inadvertantly hearing/ seeing/ participating in (?!?!) other people’s romps? I would love to hear your stories
Naughty Miss Jones xx