When I look back at my dating history, I realise I’m an expert at conversion. Not converting dance floor hook ups to something more (minds outta the gutter people), but the conversion of a mate to a date.
I have lots of male friends. Heaps. Guys from primary school, high school, uni and beyond. Guys who are married, guys who are players, guys who are single, and a gay guy or two. And whenever I hit a phase of being single, it seems I inevitably look to this pool of guys for my next ‘guy’. Maybe it’s cos I already have their number in my phone, and I’m ridiculously lazy. Whatever. And while my conversion rate is pretty good when I set my sights, my rate at successfully staying friends when the romantic side is over? Not so great. There was the one great friend from work who cared for me through a bitter break up, spoiling me on my birthday, accompanying me to cooking school, frequently dropping a coffee into my office just because. To cut a long story short, while this guy was certainly a good friend, turns out he was a bad, bad, bad boyfriend.
So what did I do? Yep, looked to my pool of male friends and converted, this time going for the nice guy who wouldn’t break my heart like the other one, even though he was totally not my type. So of course, that ended too. And so did our friendship.
Now Kim Kardasian and Kanye West are proof that a conversion can lead to a grand romance (I’m choosing to believe people, please don’t mock me), but before you get your flirt on and start accidentally grazing your mates arm (or simply just jump his bones one night, whatever is your style), stop and think.
1 – have you always had a crush on this person?
2 – would your life be better off without his friendship?
3 – does thinking of him in a romantic sense come naturally (or are you forcing your headspace there)?
4 – if it all went wrong, is yours the type of friendship where you could just laugh about it and move on?
If you answered ‘no’ to 3 or more of the above, my suggestion is just don’t, unless you’re 110% sure. Trust me. All those male friends I talked about earlier? There’s 8 or so less of them now.
Hope my words of wisdom have helped
Naughty Miss Jones xx