Men are very useful creatures.
The ‘uses’ I talk of here are not of the sort usually detailed in my saucier posts, but extend to every area of life, including work, home, love, play and family. In particular, there are a number of men who fill roles in my life which could simply not be replaced by a woman, as wonderful creatures as we are. I have put together a quick checklist of the nine and a half (you’ll see what I mean soon) men every woman should have in her life:
1. The Mate With Whom You Have No Sexual Chemistry But Love All The Same – sometimes, its good to get away from the dramatic world of women and get some male perspective, which is where gent no. 1 comes into play. They won’t be a shoulder to cry on when another dates gone bad, instead, they will tell you to ‘man up’, take you to the pub and get you pissed, which is exactly what is needed at times. They will give you an honest opinion from a guys perspective (“no, of course you’re boobs arn’t too big”), without it being delivered with an ulterior motive; i.e. to get in your pants.
2. The Guy Who Treated You Like Crap – of course, being cheated on, lied to, manipulated and generally having your heart treated like monkey meat (in the words of Hannah from Girls, whom I love), is not fun. Indeed, it is a horrible experience. But with that experience, hopefully, comes knowledge and deeper understanding of what you want and will accept. Having found out my (horrible) now ex-boyfriend was cheating on me and lying to me for over year was not a pleasant experience, but it certainly has taught me to trust my gut, and I no longer ignore all those little signs.
3. The Man Who Has Lived – I often compare my Grandpa to Forest Gump (except he is smart). He has been, wait for it, a navy officer, a pro-wrestler, an actor, a pimp, the owner of a cider and wine bar x 2, an engineer, a father, a husband and now a loved and adored Grandpa, still kickin’ on at 92. For all his life experience, the man has taught me a lot, including what I should and should not accept from a man, what simple creatures men really are and that men prefer natural boobs (this came out after a few of his home brews at Christmas, don’t ask).
4. The Cute Coffee Shop Guy – one of my favourite ladies posted a facebook status a few months back that was all too relatable. It read “Hmmm such a dilemma. The coffee’s not very good but the barista was gorgeous. I’ll probably have to give him a second chance”. While you know he uses that Italian charm to succeed in pulling more than just his ‘brew’, the cute smile and cheeky comments are just as important to perk up in the mornings as the caffeine hit.
5. The Crush – I currently have a crush on 11 guys. Some of them I know well, others just in passing, another I met through work months ago and am now having fun inventing reasons to contact him. With these ‘crushes’, I don’t necessary want to jump their bones, nor do I want to make them my boyfriend, it’s just that in communications with them, I enjoy getting the flirt on, and that just makes life more fun.
6. The Manly Man – he kills spiders, changes light globes and knows how to tell if the oil in your car is low. I rest my case.
7. The One Who Got Away – at some stage in our lives, we have all let our nerves, practicality and/or self-doubt get the better of us and not gone for it with a guy who we know, deep down, we would have been awesome with. To this day, none of know what could have happened with that guy, but should use those feelings of regret the next time such an opportunity arises.
8. The One Who Will Always Be On Your Side, No Matter What – it is important to have people on your team. People who you know will stand up for you, console you, and generally try and make life a better place for you. I’m very blessed to have a brother who I know I can count on 100%, and that, in itself, means the world.
9. The Battery Operated ‘Man’ – I don’t need to tell you again why these make life better. If you’re in doubt, please read my prior posts.
10. The Celebrity Crush – they are not really in your life, so they only get half a point. But having a celebrity crush is important to female bonding, and gives us someone to have on the posters on our walls (that was a joke).
So there you go.
9 and a 1/2 examples of the men in my life who make it just that little bit richer. Massive hugs and thanks to Noel, the horrible ex, Harry, Vince, Ben, the 11 crushees, Endaf, Daniel, Al, Mr Pinky and the ever sexy Dr Chris Brown aka Bondi Vet
Naughty Miss Jones xx
Men are very useful creatures.