Some of my most favourite memories involve a man and a toy. A lot of my most favourite memories involve cheese and wine, but that’s irrelevant to the topic at hand. Given this position (the man one, not the cheese one), I’m always perplexed by ladies who declare when I tell them what I do “Oh, I don’t need one of those, I have a boyfriend”
Don’t these girls know the fun they are missing out on?
I appreciate that introducing a toy to your nookie can be daunting and many ladies just don’t know where to start. Thankfully, I’m here to help. Follow my tips and guidelines and I assure you there will be fun buzzy times ahead for you both.
1. Don’t Choose A Toy that Looks Like a Penis
Men are sensitive creatures. They like us to think that their packages are the most impressive things we have ever seen. So as not to disrupt that sense of worth, I suggest not choosing a toy that shouts “She is replacing you with me, buddy!” and going for something of a completely different shape or in much smaller form (usually called a bullet). A few strategically timed ‘its nowhere near as big as you, honey” may also help with this issue.
2. Dont Do Dongs
For those that don’t know, vibrators vibrate, dongs don’t. As a general observation, vibrating things against your skin feels good. Make that a particularly sensitive part of your skin, and the feeling is even better. My suggestion, unless your partner is particularly experienced in the area, get something that vibrates so he can enjoy the sensation, too
3. Lube it Up Baby
Fact: lube make things better. I have an entire post coming up about this topic, in the meantime you will just have to trust me.
4. Approach The Subject Delicately
I wouldn’t suggest simply pulling one out mid play. This should be something you decide as a couple, and look forward to. Don’t, in broaching the subject, indicate your bored or otherwise unhappy with the lovin’ you have been recieving, instead, just give a helpful suggestion, tying it back to some amazing times in the past, like “Remember that time we spiced it up by XYZ, maybe we could spice it up again by introducing toys?“. Another idea is to say that you were given the toy as a gift from your silly friends but, now you had it, surely it would be rude not to use it?
5. Get Out of the Bedroom
Lots of toys are waterproof, some are especially designed for use in the bath or shower and a few don’t look anything like a vibrator at all. This may be a little less intimidating for him, if the word ‘vibrator’ sends him running. Perhaps just leave your toy there, suggest a joint shower and see if he takes the hint….
Something like this is perfect
Now, I’m off to create happy memories (by drinking wine and eating cheese). I hope you’re off to create some happy memories, too
Naughty Miss Jones xx