The Adventures of Naughty Miss Jones

'cos naughty miss jones knows vibrators. Visit me at http://www.naughtymissjones.com.au

condom

In my house, a visit from the parentals is always preluded by a quick 20 minute clean up. Dishes are put away, beer bottles taken out to the garbage, last nights bra removed from the wedge in the couch, that sort of thing.

So when my parents came over last weekend, but out of character arrived 10 minutes early, I, of course, was still in the midst of cleaning.

And that’s when I noticed it… The pile of condoms clearly on display in the little wooden dish that sits on my side table, which would normally, in those last precious 10 minutes, be covered by a necklace, or a bill, or whatever. 11 or 12 little square foiled packages, sitting proudly like they belong in a porn film or are eagerly awaiting the arrival of the other swingers (in case your wondering, they were shoved into my hand by promotional staff when I was at a nightclub, and I just put them there when I was emptying out my clutch one time). So there they were, and I’m pretty sure I saw Dad’s eyes flicker over the offending articles on more than one occasion during the visit.

Now, as much as Mum likes to remind me as a child I was the ‘ultimate little shit’ (her words, not mine) , I’m pretty sure they are both very proud of the young woman I have become. I got myself an education, I remember all their birthdays, and I make time to visit my grandparents. That said, how they would feel about me hosting swingers parties? I’m not so sure.

Much to the amusement of all my friends, in order to spare my parents from the sight of literally thousands of vibrators and then having them associate that sight with the apple of their eye (i.e; me), I always make sure the door to the back room (also known as Naughty Miss Jones HQ) is firmly shut whenever they visit. Its been that way now for, oh, 8 months or so.

Having now seen the bowl of doms, I can only imagine what else they think I’m hiding; a sex swing, a dungeon, maybe one of those red rooms like you see in the porn movies? who knows…

So Mum and Dad, if you’re reading this, please be rest assured your precious daughter is not a swinger. Or a porn star. Or anything else that would make you ashamed. But just in case I decide to try those things out, perhaps you could give me a heads up next time if you’re going to be early?

Just joking

Naughty Miss Jones xx

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