The Adventures of Naughty Miss Jones

'cos naughty miss jones knows vibrators. Visit me at

lovers - tarotteachingsRight now, I could really use a visit from my guardian angel. With some big decisions to make in all areas of my life, and an unusually quiet love life, I am finding myself analysing options (in true female form) for countless hours as I try and sleep each night.

But in the absence of any angelic winged women, I did what any intelligent, rational and educated young woman would do in this circumstance; I went and saw a fortune teller.

Yep, I left my fate in the hands of a pack of cards and a soulful looking guy in black who knew how to read them. I got to pick 3 areas of my life to focus on. I chose work, home and (obviously) love, and waited patiently for the universe to give me all the answers. What I got was a bit of a mixed bag, not bad, but not the ‘A handsome prince will sweep you off your feet and you will live happily ever after‘ I had been hoping for.

In summary

Generally – I got the medusa card. Apparently this means I am blocking myself from certain things, and need to look inwards and reflect to improve my life. Noted.

Home – I’ve been thinking about moving to a different part of Sydney. Apparently it won’t happen immediately, but I’ll be ultimately happier when I do. Bring on the removalists.

Work – the card I got was ‘Vesta’, and depicted a sexy blonde in a bustier with a self satisfied smirk on her face. This got me excited, and apparently represents working for ones self. The other card I got was ‘Pan’. I can’t remember exactly what was said, but looking at the fortune tellers notes as I write this, he has written ‘Horny Goat’, (woot woo!) which has obvious positive connections with my brand (what? you didn’t know I sold vibrators too? yep, check em’ out at Anyway, alls looking good for a successful career as the sex toy queen of Australia (well, that’s how I’m choosing to interpret it).

Love – now, here’s where it gets interesting. As you’ll know, at any one time I will always have a crush on multiple men. Not wanting to seem greedy, I chose to focus on just one in my reading. Apparently the bloke in question, while close to me and attracted to me, is not over his ex and at most I could hope for a passionate fling (which sounds pretty good in itself at this stage). But I shouldn’t worry, because I have lots of other options. Super; option boys, please bring yourself forward.

So, a lot more was said, but that’s pretty much it in a nutshell.My future is A-OK, and I walked away a little more definite on some of the big choices. If you want a reading, this is the bloke I went to:
And if you do go, would you mind asking for some clarification on the whole ‘Horny Goat’ thing? (its been a while)

Naughty Miss Jones xx

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