The Adventures of Naughty Miss Jones

'cos naughty miss jones knows vibrators. Visit me at

pic courtesy of

pic courtesy of

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll remember when I lead a very convincing argument in the affirmative to the age old question ‘if Ryan Gosling was your boyfriend, would you still need a vibrator?‘. If you haven’t read it, just scroll down.

Anyway, it seems my theory was spot on the money, cos not so long ago Ryan’s partner Eva Mendes was spotted leaving a US sex shop with a bulging shopping bag. So what did Eva purchase to spice it up in the boudoir? A classic rabbit? A little lube? Some new wrist ties?

Nope. She bought a skull. You read that correctly. A skull. Notwithstanding my (self proclaimed) encyclopaedic knowledge of all things sex toy related, I have no friggin clue what even the kinkiest of couples would do with that. But then, admittedly, it’s not the first time objects used as a replacement for sex toys have surprised even me.

Did you know the most common household item used in lieu of a sex toy is candles? Others I’ve heard/ read of include deodorant bottles (I’m presuming the smaller, roll on variety), screwdrivers, electric tooth brushes, rolling pins, hairbushes, vases, beer bottles and a trailer hook. Coming up with that list sure made for some interesting Wednesday night googling, let me tell you.

And we haven’t even opened the fridge yet. Turns out the use of foods, mostly vegetables, as kinky aides is universally popular. Cucumbers and bananas make the list, of  course, other more creative efforts go to the candy necklaces (worn as a garter to be eaten off), Popsicles, and the old classic whipped cream bikini (girls. you know you’ve done it).

Whatever it is Ryan and Eva are doing with that skull, I hope they’re having fun. My advice to them though, invest in a sex toy guys, I think you can afford it. And dear reader, I proffer the same advice to you (that whole trailer hook thing just sounds, eggghhh, I dont want to go there). There is no need to look in your fridge or stationary drawer to spice things up given the wonderful and very affordable range of products out there. If you need help choosing, may I humbly suggest you use my quiz

And in the meantime, happy vibing (or cucumbering, whatever)

Naughty Miss Jones xx

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