Without wanting to get into a political debate, voting day is approaching and I must say I’m really disappointed by the carry-on from both the Rudd and Abbott camps. I’m not particularly keen on either of them running my country.
So, as a forward thinking woman with an interest in politics and another interest in sexy men, I would like to propose an alternate.
Dr Chris Brown for Prime Minister.
It’s got a nice ring to it, no?
Ok, so he may not actually be a candidate. And he may not actually want to go into politics. But trust me, I can be very convincing.
Let me prove that to you by convincing you this is not just another of my many strange ideas.
- Chris Brown is compassionate – I mean, have you seen the way he cries when the puppies die, and the delicacy with which he administers needles to the little kittens? The man, clearly, has heart. Gays, refugees, whoever; no-one would be treated like a second class citizen under the Brown regime;
- Chris Brown is intelligent – he has a doctorate, which neither Rudd nor Abbott do to my knowledge.
- Chris Brown will push himself to the limits for his people – the rationale given as to why he ran the city to surf when suffering from a medical condition (causing him to collapse)? “I didn’t want to let the charity I was running for down“. What a guy!
- Chris Brown can think on his feet. Not so long ago at an ocean swim, an injured turtle came onto the shore and Chris, armed with nothing more than his speedos, managed to save the little guy. Try doing that Kevin or Tony.
- Chris Brown is very, very sexy. Before you start shaking your head and declaring I am focusing on things that don’t matter, dwell on this. Many studies have found people are more welcoming and prefer interacting with good looking people. Surely when negotiating important trade embargos and other prime ministerial things, one of Chris’ cracker smiles would get our country far further than that weird, child like grin of Kevin’s or Tony’s out of whack ear to face proportions. Chris Brown looks like one of our national icons (Chesty Bonds) for Christs sake, the novelty factor alone would be enough to secure us a discount off our international debt.
- Finally, as you will see from the campaign poster I mocked up, I have already created a very catchy slogan, ‘Bondi Vet = Australia’s Best Bet” and it would be a shame not to use it. Chris, if you’re reading this, I hereby transfer all rights to you. You’re welcome.
I know who I’ll be voting for this week. I hope I’ve convinced you, too.
Naughty Miss Jones xx