Ladies, my sincerest apologies if the inclusion of the pic in this post is causing you to get all hot and bothered while at your desk/ on the train/ wherever it is you’re reading this. I completely appreciate that this tracksuit donning, unemployed, sexy, sexy beast is a complete and total catch and that any women would fall for him at first sight, and immediately desire him to be the father of her children. I’m sure your naming your first born right now, just looking at him…..
It’s funny, cos its true
Yep, Keith McDonald, pictured, has fathered… wait for it… 11 children by 10 different women… and he’s only 28.
Keith, who goes by the title ‘Britain’s Most Feckless Father’ and lives in Sunderland, in the UK, meets most of his conquests at bus stops (usually while drunk, cos who doesn’t like to drink at bus stops?), pays almost zero in child support to these women, has multiple convictions for violent crimes, and fathered the first of his brood at 15.
All that, and yet at least 10 different women have allowed him to knock them up? Dear lord (or, perhaps more aptly Dear Ashtart, the god of sexual love, maternity and fertility) if this is case, PLEASE SAVE OUR WOMEN!
Why is it these ladies are lowering their standards? Why is it that so many women are willing to bed a man who has so little going for him? Even the most lovely of male appendages should not be enough to warrant this man the sex god he so evidently is.
And yet, it’s not just in Sunderland this is taking place. We have all seen wonderful women hanging onto relationships with the grossest of men simply for the sake of being in a relationship. We have all seen otherwise intelligent women being sweet talked by well known bull shitters, and convinced to do things they will later regret (even while not drunk at a bus stop).
Surely being single is a better alternative?
Thankfully for the women of Sunderland, and any of my readers realising they, too, would be better off without their current beau’s, I can help.
No, I can’t turn your Keith into the ultimate man, but I can offer you a replacement. He won’t get you pregnant, you have zero chance of suffering from one his violent crimes, and he won’t leave you for the next gullible women he happens to meet while drunk at a bus stop (cos who doesn’t like to drink at bus stops?).
His name is vibrator, and with prices starting at less than $20, he’ll cost you a lot less than the cost of raising a kid… This little guy is only $14 and, with all due respect, I reckon he’s a much better score than Keith
Naughty Miss Jones xx