The Adventures of Naughty Miss Jones

'cos naughty miss jones knows vibrators. Visit me at


Turns out you lot are a romantic bunch. Can we get a collective ‘awww…’. Over the past couple of weeks, a number of you who know my not-so-secret-identity have approached me asking ‘what happened to Jimmy?’ and ‘your meeting story was so good, I want to know what happened next?‘. Well, folks, you asked, and you will get. But if you’re looking for a continuance of the romantic comedy complete with a happy ending, it’s probably best you stop reading now, and go rent yourself a copy of Love Actually…

Still with me? Ok, here goes:

So Jimmy and I certainly had some fun. No sex was had, but it’s not exactly the sort of fun that could fit into the ‘clean’ category, either. Cos we molded his cock. You see, I had a new product in to try and called in Jimmy’s services, being a ‘Clone a Willy Do it Yourself Vibrating Dildo Kit’. Wow, that name is a bit of a handful (as is, to give credit where credits due, the finalised replica of Jimmy’s member).

Anyway, If you wanna see the fabulous finished product, check out the pic I’ve put on my site here:

So, that happened, and as cock molding usually does in my experience (amounting to this one time), it got us talking about sex. And it quickly became apparent that young Jimmy, he who I had been so excited to meet cos I didn’t think he fell into the sleazy category, had a firsthand story for pretty much bloody everything that could occur in the sexual department.

So eventually, I asked him the question I was dying to know ‘Jimmy, just how many women have you slept with?‘ His answer, ‘over 300’.

And that freaked me the f**k out.

While I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it, as soon as that number spilled from his lips, I looked at old Jimmy very differently.  I figured any guy with such numbers was much more a ‘quantity’ over ‘quality’ bloke, and I just didn’t see the appeal with being Naughty Miss ‘over 300 plus 1’. Indeed, I thanked my lucky stars no sex had been had.

When mum and dad told me growing up I was special and precious, it seems something must of stuck, cos that’s how I treat myself sexuality. A boys gotta earn this prize! (this could kind of explain why I so often revert to vibrators…)

Anyway, I get that a lot of people wouldn’t be bothered by such a thing, but I found it the hugest of turn offs. I also get we are all entitled to do exactly as we please, and anyone who wants to sleep around is perfectly entitled to do just that.

I also get that in the romantic comedies, all the ‘player’ boys have a light bulb moment when they realize all this casual sex is pointless and should be tossed aside for the love of one good, quirky woman, usually played by Emma Stone. But in real life, the last time I thought I had tamed a player, it turned out the man I thought was my loving and committed partner, was also ‘lovin’ half the tarts in Sydney. Sometimes life just isn’t like it is in the movies.

So, that’s the end of the story folks. I do intend to keep Jimmy in my life, not as a between the sheets partner or even a fellow sex toy tester, but as a mate and my male ‘go to’ for advice when I’m writing about pretty much bloody anything sexuality related. I’m looking at Jimmy not as the potential lead in a rom com, but more like my Barney from How I Met Your Mother style friend.

So my life right now is not a romantic comedy. Instead, it’s more like a book of short stories, with lots of different exciting bits and bobs on the go. One of those bits, in fact, is coming along quite nicely, and has left this little sex-toy merchant with, well, a little bit of a crush really. I’ll be sure to keep y’all informed.

And to old Jimmy, I want to say thank you. If the Sunday Telegraph interviews me for the ‘my favorite things’ bit they do in the Sunday magazine, my molded Jimmy’s cock will so be included.  Even if our ending won’t be of the romantic comedy variety, I look forward to hearing more of your stories, and, most likely, writing about them when my own dating/ sex life is in a bit of a lull.

Naughty Miss Jones xx

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