The Adventures of Naughty Miss Jones

'cos naughty miss jones knows vibrators. Visit me at

You said it girl!

You said it girl!


This morning I took my dog for a walk, and a homeless man with only a few grubby teeth tried to pick me up by asking if I wanted to “meet in the dog park later for coffee, you can even bring your rat if you like” (gesturing to my gorgeous, very un-rat like pup).

Smooth Mr. Homeless Man, Smooth.

Then, when I politely declined, he called me “a stupid fucking woman for missing out on something that could be great“.

Um, OK Mr. Homeless Man, I repeat my prior comment re ‘smooth’.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for people putting themselves out there and asking others out. I also have nothing against homeless people. But I do have a problem with the way some people react aggressively when rejected.

I have recently had the misfortunate of being rejected. I went out with a boy a few times, and then suddenly he died or got abducted by aliens or joined a cult or something else that would stop him messaging me back. RIP M.M. Anyway, whereas once the 18 year old me probably would have handled that rude rejection with a scathing text on his short stature or poor dress sense (children can be so cruel!), older, wiser me has handled it like a pro. By channeling my inner Beyonce. I know queen B gets me, you see, cos I found this website full of Beyoncé quotes that contains the following:

When you really don’t like a guy, they’re all over you, and as soon as you act like you like them, they’re no longer interested“.

I hear ya sista!

So if you’ve recently been rejected, or you know someone who has, I urge you, too, to take a leaf outta Queen B’s book by following this, The NMJ Guide:  how to handle this rejection a la Beyoncé,

  1. Channel your independent lady – Beyoncé is all for celebrating your own achievements as a women and enjoying your womanhood. So with the pain of rejection still lingering, what better thing to do than ‘throw your hands up’ and reflect on your own personal achievements? Like the fact that I recently purchased shares like a real life adult, and am 100% financially independent. Yep, go me! Celebrate your independence and do not contact them, (kind of hard to text when your hands are ‘thrown up with me’ anyway : )).
  2. Dance like a single lady – Beyoncé may have done it in a sexy leotard, whereas I donned my onesie and uggs, but shaking your thang around to choreographed dance moves certainly helps improve the mood!
  3. Get your Sasha Fierce On – use your anger to your advantage! This morning I used my lawyer skills to threaten proceedings to a service provider I have chased many, many times but who simply isn’t delivering on contractual terms AND… wait for it… I went for a run (that may seem like a pretty normal thing to do for most people, but I gotta be real cranky to want to run).
  4. Eat chocolate. And Cheese. Preferably together – I have read articles where Beyoncé speaks of her love for pizza. She is a women so I’m just assuming she likes chocolate too. And there is nothing wrong with a little comfort eating when you need a pick me up (and to help increase sugar levels after running);
  5. Vibrators Cure Everything – You may not think Beyoncé is the sex toy type, but it was reported not too long ago that B and J dropped $6,000 on sex toys in a single shopping trip, as reported here. As orgasms are scientifically proven to enhance the mood, I’d bet my bottom drawer Beyoncé was left feeling great after using her new stash! Hint hint…

I’d like to end this entry with another Beyoncé quote:
When you love and accept yourself, when you know who really cares about you, and when you learn from your mistakes, then you stop caring about what people who don’t know you think

Thanks B. You’re So Right. Poor MM didn’t really know me (I even kept my moonlighting as a sex toy merchant a secret!), and I don’t really care what he thinks. And, by the way girl, next time you wanna drop 6K on sex toys, may I suggest you give a go?

Happy Vibing

Naughty Miss Jones xx

One thought on “How To Handle Rejection Like Beyonce

  1. Sexshop Guy says:

    I hope you find someone worthy some day. These idiots don’t deserve your attention, time wasters sucks. Anyway, I will just quote Cher then:

    ‘Cos I’m strong enough
    To live without you
    Strong enough and I quit crying
    Long enough now I’m strong enough
    To know you gotta go

    Forget this idiot and move along, and you should give chance to whoever is really worth and can connect with you 😉

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