Scene 1: An exhausted Barbie sits on the end of her marital bed in the top level of Barbie’s dream house. In the next room, Ken, legs splayed, sits staring at the etch-a-sketch, a pool of drool forming in the corner of his perfect, plastic mouth. Suddenly, exhausted and bored, Barbie calls out to her lover, and an inter-room conversation ensues:
Barbie: “Ken, I’m bored, can you stop staring at that bloody square box for one second to spend some time with your dream girl?”
Ken: “Whatever Barb, I’m meeting Potato Head in a minute, that bloody idiot, vegetables for brains I reckon”
Barbie: “I mean it Ken, this is important, we need to spice things up. And I have something from Andy’s mum’s toy box that could do just the trick”
Ken is suddenly interested. It is well known amongst the toys that while Andy’s toy box is fair game, Andy’s mum’s is off limits, and no toy has ever before ventured to that dark and mysterious place.
“Geez” Ken mutters to himself “Barb must be desperate for a bit of bloody attention to go there“ and with that he shakes clear the etch-a-sketch and joins Barbie in the bedroom.
Barbie is holding a strange u-shaped item, unlike any toy either had seen before. Cue mysterious chord music.
“What is it?” Ken asks
“This” Barbie answers “Is Buzz Light-years cousin, U-Vibe. It sounds just like Buzz, and just like with Buzz, its going to take you to infinity and beyond…”
Scene 2: a shot of the dream house from the outside, fireworks going off from the roof, the sound of sweet plastic moans emanating from its inside..
Couples vibes are hugely popular (and effective!) but I get they scare a lot of potential duo-vibers off. Because they look weird, definitely not like the usual toys you have in your toy box. It’s not clear from their appearance exactly what they’ll do. I get it. But caste those doubts aside, and let me teach you how to use these little beauties, so you can make your own ‘toy story’…
- Start with a bit of lube – always start with a bit of lube;
- Stretch out the bendy bit so the ‘U’ becomes more like a bowl shape;
- Insert the more bulbous end inside the vagina, so its end sits at your g-spot (about an inch and a half up);
- Position the other end over your clit;
- You should be able to move around without it moving to much; the elasticity of the center bendy bit keeping it in place;
- Get Busy and cue the fireworks!
These little beauties will stimulate both your pleasure buttons, and his penis, in one go! – Clever huh (no, we don’t need to point out Ken doesn’t actually have a penis under those fetching plastic undies).
If you want to spice things up a la Barbie and Ken, this is where you can buy these excellent additions to your toy box:
Naughty Miss Jones xx