This weekend, I caught up with girlfriends, went to Bunnings and… I turned down a perfectly good offer of a date to stay in my trackies. True story. And I do not feel the slightest bit of guilt about that.
As a single woman of a certain age, sometimes you feel the world expects you to be on one giant man hunt. “Are you seeing someone?” is deemed a perfectly acceptable start to a conversation, and a look of pity is a common response when the answer is in the negative. “Don’t worry” they go on “You’ll meet someone soon”. Um, sorry, I must have missed the part of the conversation when I actually said I was looking. I went to a wedding once where all the single people’s names were called out and made to stand up. Just so, I suppose, the balance of the guests could smirk and play that ‘super fun’ game of set-up, instead of leaving those of us standing to simply get on with having a good time. I will often have well-meaning friends try and tempt me out to a certain venue or function by telling me ‘there will be lots of single guys there’ because, apparently, that’s the only reason to socialize.
It shits me.
True. There are times in my life when I’m all for the man-hunt. Heck, Ill often lead the pack into the wilderness that is the Sydney dating scene, choosing my prey and taking no prisoners. But have no doubt, when I’m in hunting mode, it’s my choice. There are other times, like now, however, when I am perfectly happy to stay both single, and in my trackies. And I don’t want nor deserve anyone’s pity for that.
There are certainly things I miss about being in a relationship. Mostly sex on tap. And being the little spoon. But there are times, like today, in my glorious trackies, sitting on my couch, cuddling my dog, and re-watching my Gossip Girl DVDs for the ninth time, that I am perfectly happy to put the man hunt in reverse.
The start of a relationship is fun, but a lot of work. I’m pretty sure trackies are a dating no-no until at least date 5 (vibrators, meanwhile, are not so judgmental). And right now, having come out of a bad relationship, having about a million other things going on in my life, I Just. Don’t. Want. To.
I don’t believe in ‘the one’. Nor do I believe we always want the same things at every point in life. Instead, I’d rather go through this journey doing whatever I feel at that particular point in time, trackies or no trackies included.
So next time you are talking to a single friend, please be careful of bringing the pity party. They may want to be in a relationship, they may be actively looking. Or they could just be perfectly content doing whatever they damn well please at that particular point in their life. Either way, its their business.
And to the boy who asked me out today, I’m sorry. It’s not you. It’s me. Well, it’s me… and my trackies.
Naughty Miss Jones xx