The Adventures of Naughty Miss Jones

'cos naughty miss jones knows vibrators. Visit me at http://www.naughtymissjones.com.au

Pic courtesy of Karen Walker, using one of the stars of 'advanced age' as the model.

Pic courtesy of Karen Walker, using one of the stars of ‘advanced age’ as the model.

Last week, I got chatting to an older lady at the butchers, as you do when you’re waiting for your mincemeat and chicken necks. She was one of those people that just had a ‘sparkle’ in her eye, and I immediately recognized her as a kindred spirit. She laughed a lot, she was eager to know about me, and she had a certain energy that made her very intriguing.

As my mince and chicken necks were handed over, I went to bid farewell to my butcher-buddy, when she took the opportunity to provide me with a little older-lady-wisdom

“Dear, if I can tell you one thing, it’s that when you get older, life’s just better when you’re a cougar”.

I, officially, love her.

That same evening, I watched a documentary about older women living in New York City who are fashion forward and fabulous. It was based on a blog www.advancedstyle.blogspot.com.au which is equally fabulous. If you have a spare 5 minutes, I suggest you have a little look.

Anyway, all this exposure to the old and fabulous got me thinking about my advancing age, and exactly what I want to be when I grow up and am an older lady myself.

Life has a tendency to just keep going. Funny that. It’s nearly April for crying out loud. The birthdays seem to come more rapidly and I have suddenly found myself at an age when life is meant to be a little bit more figured out, more settled, and one is supposed to be more sure of themselves. While I do feel a certain level of self-assuredness, I am certainly not ‘figured out’ nor ‘settled’, indeed I often still feel 22 (except for when I’m hungover… hangovers are so much worse in your dirty 30’s).

But one thing I have figured out, is whatever path I go down, I want to look back on my life when I’m old and fabulous, and be proud of the risks I took, confident in the woman I am, and have a few words of wisdom to share with younger ladies I get chatting to at the butchers (oh, and I want to have many, many adventures and orgasms, but that kind of goes without saying J ). I don’t think it was my destiny to follow the traditional path of marriage, babies and a white picket fence, and that’s perfectly fine. A natural result of not being responsible for anyone but me is I have more time and more money for adventures and doing whatever the hell I want, be it travel, encounters with inappropriate men, expanding my vibrator empire, or, damn it, being a cougar when I’m older too.

Y’all remember when I wrote about my adventurous and naughty grandfather? The link is here if you need a refresher:  https://naughtymissjones.wordpress.com/2014/01/14/chip-off-the-naughty-old-block/

Like the lady at the butcher, old Harry is a man who has lived a rich life, has adventures far and wide, and who has an impressive dash of the risqué. Indeed, had the doctor not turned down his recent request for Viagra (please do not ask me how I know about this), I would have taken butcher ladies number and passed it on. I’m sure those 2 would have had adventures that made people have their age blush!

Like my grandpa, I don’t want to live a life of regrets, and I will make it my mission to get out of my comfort zone, to do weird and wacky things, and to rid my life of sources of unhappiness, until I’m an old cougar too. Life should be celebrated and there are many causes for celebration, whatever your age, as these fabulous ladies demonstrate.

To the older lady at the butcher shop (I told you about my blog, so I hope your reading this, notwithstanding your declaration you have ‘no freakin’ clue’ what a blog actually is), I hope to see you when I’m getting my mince and chicken necks again this week. Cos I have a feeling I could learn a lot from you… and I have a lovely old bugger that could be just your type.

Naughty Miss Jones xx

One thought on “When I Grow Up, I Want To Be Fucking Fabulous

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