The Adventures of Naughty Miss Jones

'cos naughty miss jones knows vibrators. Visit me at

pic courtesy of blandcanyon

pic courtesy of blandcanyon

I finished reading Rosie Waterland’s book, The Anti-Cool Girl, the other day. Then I sat for about half an hour and pondered my own life.

If I was to summarise the book into one key theme, I would say it is about self-acceptance (with a secondary theme being poo, and another blow-jobs, but I don’t want to give away the good bits).

It’s a beautiful and moving read, the type of book that makes you laugh out loud at situations not normally associated with humor, while still giving a brutally honest account of her journey thus far. It also earned Rosie extra points on my ‘girl crush’ scoreboard, but that’s an entry for another day.

At the end of the book, the conclusion of the story arch if you will, Rosie tells of her final acceptance of self, having overcome adversity and tragedy, finally at ease with who she is (being, if you didn’t pick it up from the title, the anti-cool girl). She even lists the aspects of herself which, once a cause for doubt or motivation to change, she now embraces and celebrates.

And I think that’s pretty cool. Or anti-anti-cool, if you will.

So, inspired by Rosie’s own journey, I wrote my own list of the things about me that may not be run of the mill nor socially acceptable, but which I deep down know are not going to change, and which, moving forward, I’m going to try and celebrate, in the hope of inspiring you to create your own:

  1. I am smart and confident – sometimes that scares people, and particularly gentlemen I date, off. But fuck it. Smart girls are sexy girls.
  2. I genuinely don’t get societies hang-up about sexuality and sex toys – it’s always bugged me why this topic is so taboo, and even if it makes people blush or turn away, I’m always going to want to discuss precisely why that societal attitude should change.
  3. I am not as young as my tinder profile says I am. And that’s my business.
  4. I am a crazy dog lady – my pup, Pearl, is a little furry angel from heaven. I often find myself, after parking my car, running to my home in excitement to see her (and I am not a girl who does ‘running’). She makes me smile. She makes me laugh. She came into my world at the precise moment I needed some comfort, just before the roughest few months I have ever had to endure. If I want to celebrate her awesomeness with yet another Facebook photo, or leave a social occasion to hang with her, I damn well will.
  5. I am a moody cow – I have never been able to ‘internalise’ my frustration/ anger/ sadness. Similarly, when I’m in a good mood, I’m quite possibly one of the funnest people you’ll meet. And that’s OK, the world would be boring if we were all cool calm and collected all of the time.
  6. I couldn’t get by without a little help from my friends – close friends are like wine in a ladies life; absolutely freakin’ essential. Like wine, they bring comfort, good times, and they make watching the Bachelor on a Wednesday night so much more enjoyable.
  7. I want to be the vibrator Queen of Australia – it’s a long term goal, but it’s there. I wrote about why I wanted to achieve that goal in my very first post ‘Vibrator is not a dirty word’ and that motivation hasn’t changed a bit.

The Bachelor is on tonight (home visits, woo!). And like with every Bachelor night, I will cap off my viewing with a read of Rosie’s recap. But as I do, as I read the of the hilarity that is Osher’s hair and Bachie’s much emotion (and NISSAN, can’t forget NISSAN), I will do so knowing the author of those funny words is a girl all of us could learn a thing or two from in our own journeys to self-acceptance. And knowing that, in itself, is pretty cool. Or anti-anti cool, if you will.

Naughty Miss Jones xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: