The Adventures of Naughty Miss Jones

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The marble topped boardroom table was made for meetings. Not hard core sex sessions with heavenly voiced clients. Still, thought Lexi, the cool hard touch of the table’s surface made for a pleasant sensation, even it meant she’d be nursing some pretty hard core bruising in coming days. James hadn’t even bothered to schedule a …

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Missed chapter 1? Catch up here: https://naughtymissjones.wordpress.com/2015/10/22/lexis-sexi-story-chapter-1-the-client-the-voice-the-butterfly-kiss/ Miss chapter 2? Catch up here https://naughtymissjones.wordpress.com/2015/10/29/lexis-sexi-story-chapter-2-do-you-take-house-calls/ Days had passed since James’ house call. The adds had run. Job well done. And Lexi had, again, found herself subject to a daily mountain of paperwork, approvals and affidavits; correspondence and copies. ‘Sometimes the world of law’, she thought to …

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Lately, I’ve been working like a dog. Well, not like an actual dog, all Pearl’s life seems to consist of is being fed, walked and belly rubbed, pretty sweet really, but you get my drift. As a result of my ever mounting to-do list, there has been little time for blog-worthy adventures in my world …

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I don’t think I look like your typical sex toy merchant. My style is neither glamorous nor sexy. I don’t carry dildos with me wherever I go. And in the words of Bridget Jones, I’m always going to be just that little bit fat. My day job, too, is a wonderful disguise for my on-the-side antics. …

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This morning, my nail lady, Tina*, tried to talk me out of getting my nails a lovely shade of midnight blue. “No, missy” she said “You look for man, you need red”. “Oh” I responded “Is that cos red is lucky?” (look at me all up on my Asian cultural references).“No” she responded “red sexy. …

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I love pork rolls. And before you ask me, no, that isn’t a euphemism for something dirty or sexual (what?… why is she writing this then?). I’m talking about actual pork rolls here people, Banh Mi, those delicious, crispy, full of flavor Vietnamese pork-filled bread rolls. When I’m hungover, I really, really love pork rolls. …

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Hair. Make-up. Champagne. Sexy outfits. Macaroons served on the most delicate of plates. Soft music. Cute props. And a big ol’ camera pointing right at you. On my adventure to Sherbet Birdie’s Sydney studio, I got all that and more. On a quest to get a suitable pic to use for promotional purposes (the one I …

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Nothing says romance like a weekend away with just your lover. Further or in the alternate, nothing says ‘shag time’ like a weekend away with just your lover. Holidays provide a wonderful opportunity to get away from the drudgery of everyday life. They also provides a wonderful opportunity to get away from the drudgery of …

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Last week, I got chatting to an older lady at the butchers, as you do when you’re waiting for your mincemeat and chicken necks. She was one of those people that just had a ‘sparkle’ in her eye, and I immediately recognized her as a kindred spirit. She laughed a lot, she was eager to …

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Scene 1: An exhausted Barbie sits on the end of her marital bed in the top level of Barbie’s dream house. In the next room, Ken, legs splayed, sits staring at the etch-a-sketch, a pool of drool forming in the corner of his perfect, plastic mouth. Suddenly, exhausted and bored, Barbie calls out to her lover, and an …

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